When do I (re)act as a child/adult/parent?
In our lives we act and react from different states of mind, different “ego- states”.
The child ego, the adult ego and the parent ego. Normally we are unconscious about our own ego- states.
The child ego can be rebellious: ‘I do it only the way I want to, leave me alone!’?
Do you go get drunk or harm yourself when you are confused? Do you slam doors stamp with your feet when you want to emphasise something in a critical argument? Do you make dark plans on how to hurt back?
The child ego can be adapted: Do you have a hard time saying ‘no’ because you want to please others? Are you nice and smile even though you feel like screaming and killing?
A parent ego can be critical and restrictive: Do you know threats you pose onto yourself or others like: ‘If you don’t do this, something terrible will happen!’? Do you boss other people around and know exactly what would be right for them? Do you punish yourself if you did something wrong or if you had a lustful thought?
The parent ego can be over- protective: Are you hesitating to take risks, because you never know what could happen? Do you make other people angry with your questioning?
The adult ego state is the mind state that can help to balance the other ego- states. Someone who is in his adult ego- state may influence his counterpart to get into his adult ego state as well.
The adult ego state lets the parent ego rule only in order to take care and to take wise decisions.
With the support of the adult ego power, the child ego may be autonomous, have good sex and be spontaneous.
How does it feel when you succeed in not taking your critical voices too serious?
Out of which ego state do you act when you are arguing with your partner/parents/friends?
Watch yourself. Register that you live with different ego states. When you feel unhappy ask yourself which ego state gives you messages.
Visualise a parent ego that protects and nourishes you and a child ego that is free to have fun.
How could you use your adult power to get balanced?